Have you ever come across a book, movie, or story that made you think “OMG, this explains my whole life?!” I recently read a book called The Highly Sensitive Person and that was exactly my thought the entire time. I had someone mention this book to me almost a decade ago and it never occurred to me to read it because I didn’t really consider myself a sensitive person. I don’t really get my feelings hurt easily and don’t take things personally. So, clearly, that didn’t apply to me, right? I was completely wrong.
What is a highly sensitive person?
It turns out that being a Highly Sensitive Person doesn’t mean that you cry about everything or get your feelings hurts over nothing. It is all about your nervous system and how certain stimuli (internal and external) affect you…. Now, this I can relate to.
If you are a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP for short) then it is super easy for you to get overstimulated, overwhelmed, and burnt out. The reason is that your nervous system is highly sensitive and things that feel normal to others can easily push you over the edge. This can affect all of your senses and make you particularly sensitive to loud noises, chemical smells, and even things you eat and drink. It may also make you more reactive to things you see and hear about (like the news, perhaps?!)
So, I bring this up for a couple of reasons…
1) If you are an HSP then chances are the craziness of this year is especially tough for you to handle. You often feel other people’s feelings and are sensitive to “vibes,” and boy are the vibes tense these days! Anxieties that you never felt before may be creeping up or intensified, or you may find that you are feeling more “blue” than normal.
2) If you are a highly sensitive person then there’s a good chance you are also a hormonally sensitive person. Your stress response (and therefore, cortisol levels) are more sensitive than most and can be tripped more easily. You are likely more prone to hormonal imbalances which can make the above-mentioned feelings even trickier to deal with.
But there is good news…
Once you become aware of your sensitivity you can take steps to manage it. And…it can also act as your secret superpower. Some beneficial traits of a highly sensitive person are that you notice things that others don’t and can easily tune into social and emotional cues. You are intuitive and can feel the subtle “hits” when you know something is right or wrong. The secret is to make your sensitivity work for you instead of debilitating you. Here are some ways you can do that:
Sleep, Sleep, Sleep
Highly sensitive people need their sleep! When you don’t get enough of it, it can put your nervous system on even higher alert than usual. Better sleep can benefit every person, but it is crucial for HSP’s. Make it a priority.
Create a Transition Ritual
Interestingly, change can be tough for highly sensitive people. This can be a big change, such as a move or other major life event, or it can be a little change such as transitioning from working all day to being at home with the family. Transition rituals for big and small changes can be extremely helpful.
Try this: After you leave work, or finish working from home for the day, take a moment or two and just close your eyes and breathe. Acknowledge the activity you are finishing and then consciously transition into the new activity, trying to leave the previous activity behind. I know this is way tougher than it sounds and you might not be able to make the switch so quickly. Do this exercise anyway. Practice makes progress and it enables you to be truly present when you move to a new activity.
Pay More Attention to Your Sensitivities.
Does caffeine make you super jittery? Do loud noises send you through the roof? Does being in a crowd overwhelm you to no end? All of these things impact your nervous system and you may have varying degrees of sensitivity to different things. Start to pay attention to the things that seem to affect you the most. When you have to do them/eat them/be around them you can expect to feel a little “off” or you can take steps to prepare yourself for them.
Let’s say you know you have to go to a large gathering of people (maybe not in 2020, but perhaps down the road) then you might take a little extra “me time” beforehand to be able to go in with a settled nervous system instead of diving in headfirst after an already crazy day. Or, if you have to go into something already a bit frazzled, know that you are going to feel that way and that you will get through it. Then afterward do what you need to do to settle down again. Acknowledging your sensitivities can help you better understand them and navigate times when they get triggered.
This post is just a small snapshot of information about being a highly sensitive person. If you want to learn more about the traits and symptoms of being a highly sensitive person, I highly recommend reading the book The Highly Sensitive Person. Also, consider taking this highly sensitive person self-test for even greater insight.